Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Slow steps of responsibility and commitment

Having a dog has proven a bigger deal than I knew. Or maybe I'm just seeing the unknown I worried about when choosing to take the plunge and bring Bella home.

First, she wet in the house the first couple weeks she was here.

Second, she tears up my garbage when I'm away for a few hours.

Third, she wants lots of attention.

Fourth, she requires lots of activity.

Fifth, she's super curious, which led to her finding her Christmas present and chewing through her bag to the bone before I could take it away til morning.

She's a bed hog.

Every morning around 6am my mom lets her out to go potty.

Twice a day she gets a walk where she gets to run around in the park.

the tub after a Bella bath
I give her a bath every week.

What am I going to do when I move out? Will I have to get up early every morning of my life to let her out? Will I have to get a tacky doggy door so she won't wet the carpet or tear things up while I'm gone?

So I think "What have I done??" and I realize my life has changed and I miss the days in my bedroom alone. And I see I have taken on a responsibility--like adopting a child before you're married. And I didn't know, I wasn't prepared, I couldn't have been. And I am tempted to send her back because a panic is threatening.


Many but's.

And lastly, the thought I had when I decided it was okay with God to move forward:

It is a good thing when our love expands.

Those who have kids and husbands or even other forms of responsibility will think me a little extreme here, but this is my first major responsibility and commitment, and while small, I'm thankful I'm getting used to the smaller steps before I have to undergo a bigger one, because apparently I really needed practice. And right now, my parents help out very very much.

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