Grasp. I immediately thought of what I'm grasping for.
I'm grasping for . . . how does one put this? I am grasping for security. Currently I do not have a full time job like I enjoyed last school year. God has been providing so amazingly. I have a tutoring job that I love and the parents keep paying me more than I ask for. God has provided random dog sitting jobs that pay more than I expected. So He is providing.
But meanwhile, my car has needed two random, expensive repairs in the last month or so. And dog sitting last week was cancelled. And I found out my bachelor's degree isn't from a regionally accredited university so I can't apply to be a substitute teacher or earn a teacher's credential so that I can make money.
So I am grasping. I am grasping for security.
God has led me here. That's what I must remind myself of. Because I know it is true. It has been obviously true.
I am grasping because I want to control my life.
And that is what it is -- grasping. Not resting. Not trusting. Not praying. Not entrusting myself to the One in charge. Frantic grasping for the wind.
"God loves an uttermost confidence in Himself -- to be wholly trusted. This is the sublimest of all the characteristics of a true Christian -- the basis of all character." --Henry Van Dyke
5 comments:
Blessings to you dear one.
oh how I can relate!! Praying with you...
Me too! Relating and praying that you will find the answers and security that you need.
Yes, the lessons learned in dependence and trust when we have no choices but faith are the lessons that carry us through our walk with God an make the foundation for all the security you will ever need. Blessings to you as you navigate through the decisions. Praying for open doors and peace.
Oh, my. I have been right there more times than I care to know. My very best...trite, I know, but true...is that God will provide. But you already know that, don't you? :-)
May you be blessed.
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